Writer's Blocked Writer's Blog

Long, nonsense poem.

So I know my life can’t turn around

only in a day..

But if it only took a week or two,

that would be ok.

But of course, here’s the truth:

I can try and try and try

Odds are I’ll be this way

until the day I die.

I wish there was a shortcut

to make hard times go faster.

I’d hit all the disadvantages

with a sandblaster.

I know this time I’m going through

is something of a bummer.

depression, angst,and loneliness

ever since last summer.

But eventually i know

this time has to end.

and maybe in a year or so

You’ll want to be my girlfriend.

Poetry is really dumb.

i hate it with all my guts.

i’d rather have a hot glue gun

pointed at my nuts..

This thing is getting out of hand,

not much of it is true.

but the main point that stands

is how much i love you.

No, there’s nobody in particular

this long list of words is to.

Either way, it’s ok.

My favorite color is blue.

See, anyone who knows me

will see that that’s a lie.

it’s green you, flipping idiot.

And I am not sure why

you are still reading this

thing we call a poem.

I am simply typing words,

hoping that you know ’em.

But of course you know

how to read this note.

This has gotten more off topic

with every line i’ve wrote.

And as you continue to scroll down your page

hoping for a point,

you will discouraged,

and have a feeling of disappoint.

Yes, I did just rhyme point and -point.

Simply because I can.

You can’t tell me how to write.

Mind your business, man.

I guess it’s about that time

to wrap this stupid thing up:

I am not happy who I am

and i am trying to fix it.

But my hatred to myself;

it will be long before i nix it.

What I want most of

is a special someone to hold.

But if I get that at all,

it won’t be until I’m old.

And no, it’s not “just any girl”

I want to have in my arms.

But to you, her name is no concern.

(something that rhymes with arms.)

Advertisements

I love the PAIN

What do I do in a time like this

When nothing seems to ever work out right

Why does it seem like my life is piss

And all I wanna do is get beat up in a fight?

Get my teeth knocked out,

Getting beat to a pulp

Why does that sound so appealing to me?

Maybe because, in reality

That’s what I’m actually for.

I’m so used to being told I’m garbage and shit

That I can expect nothing more.

Takin a knife, cutting and stabbing

Every inch of skin and flesh

Until not an inch of me isn’t covered in blood

And I lie there in pain, but secretly

I’m loving every second of my own misery.

I enjoy the flow of that gooey red mess

That I want to be emptied of,

I might as well confess.

The feeling of pain, I have become accustomed to

Hell, I would beat myself til I was all black and blue.

Until every inch of me

Was either bruised or bloody

God, I love the feeling of pain

I’d be willing to feel it again and again.

Beat me to death, it really matters not

Punch me in the nose so it’s just blood and snot

Break every bone in my miserable self

Sever my legs in half so I could pass as an elf.

What would I do to defend myself?

Nothing, I’d tell you fuck you, I love what you do

Every punch, every kick, I’ll be getting off to it.

And when I’m nothing but crippled, lying on the floor,

I’d piss you off more by calling your mother a whore.

There’s nothing you can do to me

That could make me feel more shitty

I’ve had my heart torn out, emotionally

You might as well tear it out literally.

It wouldn’t make a difference, it’s all just the same.

I would rather have physical than emotional pain.

And if by this time, I still wasn’t dead, I’d point to a boulder

And tell you “drop it over my head”

You might consider this a little extreme

But what do I care, life isn’t worth a thing.

I’d rather be dead, than suffer through life,

Watching every one I care about cut themselves with a knife

Or die of some horrible way, that was even remotely my fault

I’d take their place, even if it meant joining a cult.

I’d take all your weed, and smoke it all up

That way I wouldn’t feel a thing while you’re fucking me up.

But even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t even matter.

All I want to do is witness all my blood splatter.

No post, no worries

So I just wanted to throw it up in the air that I haven’t written a blog in a long time. I’ve been busy with lots of stuff, including frustration.
But it doesn’t matter because no one reads my blogs anyway.

Cool beans.

I don’t get it.

There are a couple things I don’t understand.
For starters, why is it that parents are right, even if they aren’t? Why must I tell my mother that she’s correct when I KNOW 100% that she’s wrong? It doesn’t make any sense at all. And If I don’t understand something, I want her to explain it to me. But if she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, I’m just supposed to move on and act like I know what she means. Why? How does that work? What the hell?
Moving on, another thing I don’t understand is why there’s such a big debate about whether XBOX 360 or PS3 is better. To me, it’s rather obvious that the 360 is, despite what everyone else says, the better option. I actually have reasons to back this up. There’s so many different applications on the 360, and a wide variety of possibilities that go along with the XBOX. For instance, Last.fm, Built-in Netflix (no need for a disc, as you do with the PS3), MSN messenger (not sure how many people still use that anyway), the ability do download television shows and movies, etc. Not to mention that Xbox’s community is way bigger than the PS3’s. Yes, I do know that PS3 has some kind of store option where you can buy… something or other. I’m not sure exactly what all you can do with it, but I know it’s there. Maybe. However, the XBox’s system is much easier to use, and much more used. Of course, the biggest argument between the two (and the only thing PS3 fanboys actually have to go off of) is the fact that you have to pay for XBL. But, honestly, it’s $60 for more than a year. It’s $6 a day, and any child with an allowance can afford that. It’s really not as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Microsoft just happens to be a bigger company than Sony. It’s like comparing Ipods to Walkmans.
So, really, Xbox > Ps3, proof provided. I’d like to see any PS3 fan’s rebuttal. I’m sure it’d be a riveting read.
Anyway, That’s really all I got for now.

Word Watch

Today, I was expanding the length of my newest story. As I was doing this, I realized I have a true passion for words. I really, really love words. The way words flow together to form a sentence, or a paragraph, is purely magnificent. To me, it’s magical. It truly is an art. A beautiful form of art created by the wisest of men (or women). I am infinitely amazed about how unfathomable the possibilities of words are. That sentence in itself was difficult to create. I’m still debating whether or not it even made sense. But that’s not the point. If you’ll notice, I used the word “create” to describe what I did when I put the words together. Because when you write, whether it’s a sentence or a novel, it’s your own creation. The power you possess is truly an incredible thing. It’s actually beyond comprehension.

However, while that is, if I can say so myself, a great introduction, it’s not the main topic of this neglected blog. I say neglected, because there is a slight  (roughly 140%) chance that this will go unread by everybody except those who click on the link on my Facebook page.

The main topic of this post, as stated in the title, is what I am referring to as a “Word Watch.” I’m compiling a list of words that are different, exotic, difficult, and all-around special. This list is written, because, hopefully it’ll be more difficult to lose. I’m very, erm, prone when it comes to losing things. It’s a curse. Even on the computer, I have lost documents. It’s no fun. Anyway, this is the list. It’s labeled (of course) “Word Watch.”

Picture0043

Basically, if you do happen to stumble upon this miserable excuse for a blog, and you know of a word you find note-worthy, I would love to see it. If you would, just leave it as a comment with the word and then the definition. It’d be appreciated greatly.

Thanks!

~Justin

What I think of X-mas

Firstly, for all you religious nuts out there, YES. I did put “X”-mas. No, I don’t care about your issues with that.
Anyway, so Santamas is getting closer and closer with every day that drags by. I am not entirely sure if I am looking forward to it. It’s a rather gloomy time, in my honest opinion.
I just don’t like the whole “spending money when it’s not needed” thing. I mean, if I have money, yeah. I’ll buy something I have no use for. But I don’t want other people doing it.. Christmas used to be a holiday I looked forward to for all the goodies and such. But now I realize how much of a hassle it really is. Prices on EVERYTHING won’t ever go down. But the value of money will continue to. It’s ridiculous. It bugs me to no end.
Despite my wishes to not get anything for this holiday, I am. I can’t say I’m particularly happy with the wasting of money on myself, but there’s nothing I can really do about it.
I do know I’m getting a video editor, which, I will admit, I have wanted for quite some time. But it’s nothing remotely necessary.
But I guess that’s just how it has to be. “The gift of giving” and all that bullshit..

Good Morning, Officer!

So last night, I met a couple of local police officers. Not by choice… This isn’t making any sense, so let’s go back to what happened, shall we?

So last night, I was on Chatroulette last night. Pulling some pranks involving fake blood and a knife. The people’s reactions to this: priceless. Pure awesomeness. Some people were like ‘Oh, my GOD! He’s cutting himself! *next*” and some were like “….*next*.” It was pretty funny. Anyway, meanwhile next door in the apartment complex I live in had a bunch of people over. Making noise, playing Call of Duty. I thought nothing of it. It’s college, whatever. I mean, I could hear them loud and clear, but oh well, ya know?

So after a while, just for fun, one of them knocks on the wall and goes “Fuck you, (my last name)!” He does this a couple times, and I know it’s a joke.. I’ll remind you at this point that I’m the one covered in fake blood. So I figured I’d repay the joke favor. I walk over to their door, knock, and one of the guys looks through the peephole.

On the other side of the door, I hear “Oh my fucking God, dude. (ME) has blood all over his arms.” Panic ensues. I’m trying so hard to keep a straight face while they’re all freaking out. One of the guys in the room was a trained EMT, so that made it even better.

After a few minutes of craziness, worry, and outright chaos, I tell them all it’s fake blood. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t what got the cops involved. That part’s getting closer.

So I hang out in there for a while, have a good time, and watch them play CoD.

So Jack Daniels was there for quite a bit. People were a little tipsy. So with that noted, we were all goofing around, giving each other shit and whatnot.

So I went to knock this one guy’s hat off, and ended up hitting him in the forehead.  He thought it was a reasonable reply to grab my throat and choke me for a while.

This experience revived my lust for death, how much I crave the end of life. It’s not that… Idk, it’s hard to explain, and it’s a whole different blog.

..Anyway, wrapping it up, my desire for death shone through and my friends called the police, and I had a nice chat with them.. It was a relatively interesting night full of angst and depression.